Supplying Our Needs

Do you ever just get in a horrid emotional rut? I'm sure this is often more experienced in the females than males, but it is nasty nonetheless.

Most of the time when I get in these nasty, depressed, all-I-want-to-do-is-drink-hot-cocoa ruts, it is because I haven't opened up God's word, I have forgotten His promises and I have neglected spilling out my requests to Him. So many places in the Gospels I read of Jesus saying, "Ask me!". "Ask, and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened... you have not because you have asked not... ask, that your joy may be full".

So today, as I was at the end of me, a bit flustered from my fleshly thinking... ok, ok, I'll back track the whole day so I give a full and complete story, instead of half finished and abstract one.

I'm not able to move much right now. I have a nerve that is pinched in my left hip as well as a bulging disc and it's super painful at times. I am not able to house clean, my former job, and I'm prescribed to do as little as possible. For me, doing nothing is asking a huge request! I like to be a doer... I like to clean, and as I told my mom the other day, I would be perfectly fine and content if the Lord just had me clean dirty toilets for the rest of my life. So this morning, I put my jogging shoes on, and took my dog on a walk, because I was determined to do SOMETHING! I was feeling good. God's creation was amazing me; the vibrant cherry blossoms and the fragrant lilac trees. 

My back was a bit sore, but nothing above what is normal. I went to the doctor and he even said that my condition is doing really well and that my back is healing quite fast! What great news. I know I heard that news because of the power of prayer and God's healing hand. Then I grocery shopped, but I shouldn't have, because as I was shopping, I was hungry. Please note this: It is never a good thing to shop when one is super hungry. I was also super indecisive, as usual, so I just ended up super crabby and frustrated. I threw a bag of corn tortilla's in the cart, along with celery, pie crust, strawberries, cereal, butter and went home. Because I'm not active right now, I feel as though I have no freedom to enjoy any form of yummy food whatsoever (which added to my frustration at the grocery store), so I munched on celery and carrots trying to not feel too much like a rabbit and convincing myself that I was satisfied. Then my grandma and I headed out on a little excursion to the mall. 

OH BOY, the mall! Vanity of vanities, all of life is vanity, and I seem to get so easily sucked into all that vanity at the mall. But here was the real downer... I no longer fit so great into the size of jeans I use to. I can squeeze into them, sure, but who really likes having sausage legs? I knew I would have to come to this point sooner or later in life, I just suppose I thought it was going to be later, much later. Then the over analyzing of my body flooded my thoughts. The over emphasis of the "problem" areas were plaguing what could have been a great day. Sure, the jeans I could have bought were a great deal, but I wasn't willing to buy a step up in size. What is with me? My mood had been down since that point on. Then, when I got home, the worries about eating dinner and that horrible mental calorie counter were on the forefronts of my brain. Why am I so easily defeated?

Well, what did I do about all of this? I ate a little dinner, not enough to fill what was a gaping hunger (I always get more hungry when I'm trying not to eat) and I made almond poppy seed muffins. Great fix, right? NO! What a foolish woman I am! 

As the muffins were baking, listen to what my gracious Heavenly Father spoke to me as I finally opened up His word:

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say, rejoice!

Let your gentleness be known to all men. the Lord is at hand.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things.

-Philippians 4:4-8

Again, my sweet Jesus was just saying, "Ask me about all these things that are going on in your heart Melissa. And be thankful! I have given you my peace; you don't ever have to worry. Stop thinking about this flesh, the way it looks, the size of your thighs. Think on lovely things, on pure things, on noble things, on Me."

Then listen to what else He said to me in verse 19:

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

All my need? "Yes, my dear Melissa, all your need."

So tonight, feeling still a bit not-so-chipper about my changing body, I know that if I am to exercise more, my God shall supply that need. I know that if I am to eat more, my God shall supply that need, if I am to practice self-control and not eat out of emotion, my God shall supply that need, if I am to buy a pair of great priced jeans that are a size up from what I would like to wear, my God shall supply that need, and most of all, if I need to hear His sweet promises and assurance of His love toward me no matter what I look like physically, my God shall supply that need.

God will supply your need, my dear one. He sees all that concerns you, and He will perfect it. What are you in need of? Will you ask Him for it? What are you anxious about? Will you surrender it with thanksgiving tonight? For I am confidant in this: My God shall supply all your need.